“He was devastated that he wouldn’t be here to see his grandchildren grow up. That was the first thing he said out loud when the doctor told him about his prognosis. I will never forget the look on his face”.

“Sadly, during December 2023 Dad started to feel nauseous and was vomiting intermittently. The vomiting then became more frequent and he experienced reduced bowel movements which was causing a lot of discomfort. The doctor said that these symptoms were a likely progression of his Parkinson’s disease, and it was likely to be gastroparesis. Anti-sickness medications and laxatives were prescribed but unfortunately the sickness became very severe and his symptoms did not improve.

“Never one to make a fuss he tried to carry on for weeks, expecting that they would eventually work. Sips of water, nibbles of food but never really better. Every day I asked him how he felt out of ten, one being normal and ten being awful. He usually said seven-eight, never below a five and sometimes up to a ten.

“I pushed him to go back to the GP and he did a few times, but they didn’t seem that concerned, and he accepted it – it was just a progression of his Parkinson’s disease.

“Then late one night at the end of January, he asked my Mum to phone for an ambulance as he felt so terrible.

“Diagnostics performed in A&E revealed a pancreatic tumour with liver involvement.

“We tried to remain hopeful over the next few weeks, whilst they tried to manage his nausea and pain and he began the various staging scans.

“In the first oncology appointment at the start of February they revealed it was sadly stage 4 pancreatic cancer, with liver metastases and further cancerous nodules within the abdomen. Due to the locations of the tumours, surgery was not possible and the only option was palliative chemotherapy.

“With palliative chemotherapy he was given 6-12 months to live, without treatment only 3-6 months. Dad wanted to have chemotherapy to try and buy us some time together. We were all devastated.

“Sadly, 4 weeks later, the day before Dad was due to start palliative chemotherapy, everything got much worse. He had really severe uncontrollable pain and nausea and was admitted for supportive care in hospital. It took a further week to get him to a point where both symptoms were ‘tolerable’. This was horrid to see. He never really was symptom free, and the oncologist recommended that chemotherapy was no longer a good idea as it was likely to make him feel even worse. Dad didn’t want to risk feeling any worse, and agreed that we had to make the best of the little time we had left.

“After two long weeks in hospital, he was discharged home with hospice care. He received care from The Florence Nightingale at Home Buckinghamshire team alongside the district nurses. Both did an amazing job trying their best to keep him as comfortable and settled as possible. They came out twice a day to care for him and were on hand any time of day or night if needed. We called upon them during the night many times in the later weeks and it was never too much trouble. He wanted to be cared for at home and die at home.

“My incredible Mum was also on hand 24/7 to nurse him, and me, my sister and aunties all helped as much as we were able to. Any free time we had was spent with Dad. The hospice nurses brought a lot of reassurance and support to us, as well as genuine compassion for him. We had him home for just six weeks before he sadly died on Sunday 28th April 2024, aged 70, just under 12 weeks from initial diagnosis.

“Despite the amazing care and compassion he had both in hospital and at home, I cannot deny that my dad had prolonged, unnecessary suffering due to this horrifically cruel disease – both physically and emotionally during those long weeks. Managing his pain and his nausea was really challenging. Sadly also, due to his Parkinson’s medication some drugs usually used to treat his symptoms were unable to be used or not as effective.

“We had no time to go out and about and make memories like his oncologist advised, but my family and I did have time to sit, talk and say everything we wanted to say.

“My Dad was such a hardworking, loving, loyal man and I am absolutely heartbroken that this cancer stole him from us. He was devastated that he wouldn’t be here to see his grandchildren grow up. That was the first thing he said out loud when the doctor told him about his prognosis. I will never forget the look on his face.

“Dad had not long retired before his first grandchild was born. She gave him a bright burst of light, love and purpose. It seems so unfair that his opportunity to start ‘living’ again and enjoy his retirement after 50 years of working 7am-6pm, six days a week has been taken from him. We have had little time to come to terms with it or really feel like we had enough time to say goodbye.

“Earlier diagnostic imaging needs to be performed to screen for this cancer. This is the only way to improve people’s chances of having longer with their loved ones. Pancreatic cancer can have grumbling symptoms and often people just ignore them. I am so sad that his symptoms were dismissed and especially as none of the prescribed treatments really worked. As I said earlier, he was not one to make a fuss.

“Losing my Dad is devastating, but I am very disturbed and troubled by what I witnessed during his final two weeks. Despite the palliative interventions, I do feel that my Dad suffered. It was very traumatic for us, and I cannot begin to fathom what it was like for him. Thankfully his final few hours were peaceful.

I can’t change the outcome for my dad, but I will spend my lifetime helping to raise awareness of this horrible cancer, fundraise for new treatments and research, and support the assisted dying bill.

Sleep well pops.

Love you now and always”.